CRIMINAL
[Eminem]
A lot of people ask me.. stupid
fucking questions
A lot of people think that.. what I say on records
or
what I talk about on a record, that I actually do in real life
or that I
believe in it
Or if I say that, I wanna kill somebody, that..
I'm actually
gonna do it
or that I believe in it
Well, shit.. if you believe
that
then I'll kill you
You know why?
Cause I'm
a
CRIMINAL
CRIMINAL
You god damn right
I'm a CRIMINAL
Yeah,
I'm a CRIMINAL
[Eminem]
My words are like a dagger with a
jagged edge
That'll stab you in the head
whether you're a fag or lez
Or
the homosex, hermaph or a trans-a-vest
Pants or dress - hate fags? The
answer's "yes"
Homophobic? Nah, you're just heterophobic
Staring at my
jeans, watching my genitals bulging (Ooh!)
That's my motherfucking balls,
you'd better let go of em
They belong in my scrotum, you'll never get hold of
em
Hey, it's me, Versace
Whoops, somebody shot me!
And I was just
checking the mail
Get it? Checking the 'male'?
How many records you
expecting to sell
after your second LP sends you directly to
jail?
C'mon!-- Relax guy, I like gay men
Right, Ken? Give me an amen
(AAA-men!)
Please Lord, this boy needs Jesus
Heal this child, help us
destroy these demons
Oh, and please send me a brand new car
And a
prostitute while my wife's sick in the hospital
Preacher preacher, fifth
grade teacher
You can't reach me, my mom can't neither
You can't teach me
a goddamn thing cause
I watch TV, and Comcast cable
and you ain't able to
stop these thoughts
You can't stop me from topping these charts
And you
can't stop me from dropping each March
with a brand new CD for these fucking
retards
Duhhh, and to think, it's just little ol' me
Mr. "Don't Give A
Fuck," still won't leave
[Chorus: Eminem (repeat 2X)]
I'm a
CRIMINAL
Cause every time I write a rhyme, these people think it's a
crime
to tell em what's on my mind - I guess I'm a CRIMINAL
but I don't
gotta say a word, I just flip em the bird
and keep going, I don't take shit
from no one
[Eminem]
My mother did drugs - hard-liquor,
cigarettes, and speed
The baby came out - disfigured, ligaments indeed
It
was a seed who would grow up just as crazy as she
Don't dare make fun of that
baby cause that baby was me
I'm a CRIMINAL - an animal caged who turned
crazed
But how the fuck you supposed to grow up when you weren't
raised?
So as I got older and I got a lot taller
My dick shrunk smaller,
but my balls got larger
I drink more liquor to fuck you up quicker
than
you'd wanna fuck me up for saying the word ...
My morals went thhbbpp when
the president got oral
Sex in his Oval Office on top of his desk
Off of
his own employee
Now don't ignore me, you won't avoid me
You can't miss
me, I'm white, blonde-haired
and my nose is pointy
I'm the bad guy who
makes fun of people that die
in plane crashes and laughs
As long as it
ain't happened to him
Slim Shady, I'm as crazy as Em
-inem and Kim
combined - [*kch*] the maniac's in
Replacing the doctor cause Dre
couldn't make it today
He's a little under the weather, so I'm taking his
place
(Mm-mm-mmm!) Oh, that's Dre with an AK to his face
Don't make me kill him too and spray his brains all over the place
I told you Dre, you
should've kept that thang put away
I guess that'll teach you not to let me
play with it, eh?
I'm a CRIMINAL
[Interlude Skit]
Aight look
(uh huh) just go up in that motherfucker
get the motherfucking money and get
the fuck up outta there
[Em] Aight
I'll be right here waiting on
you
[Em] Aight
Yo Em
[Em] What?!
Don't kill nobody
this time
[Em] Awwright... god damn, fuck...
(whistling) how you
doin'?
[Teller] HI, how can I help you?
[Eminem] Yeah I need
to make a withdrawl
[Teller] Okay
[Eminem] Put the fucking
money in the bag bitch
and I won't kill you!
[Teller] What? Oh my
god, don't kill me
[Eminem] I'm not gonna kill you bitch, quit looking
around...
[Teller] Don't kill me, please don't kill
me...
[Eminem] I said I'm not gonna fucking kill you
Hurry the fuck
up! [*BOOM*] Thank you!
[Eminem]
Windows tinted on my
ride when I drive in it
So when I rob a bank, run out and just dive in
it
So I'll be disguised in it
And if anybody identifies the guy in
it
I'll hide for five minutes
Come back, shoot the eyewitness
Fire at
the private eye hired to pry in my business
Die, bitches, bastards, brats,
pets
This puppy's lucky I didn't blast his ass yet [*dog
whines*]
If I ever gave a fuck, I'd shave my nuts
tuck my dick in
between my legs and cluck
You motherfucking chickens ain't brave enough
to
say the stuff I say, so just tape it shut [*tape unrolls*]
Shit, half
the shit I say, I just make it up
To make you mad so kiss my white naked
ass
And if it's not a rapper that I make it as
I'ma be a fucking rapist in
a Jason mask
[Chorus 2X]