THE KIDS
[Mr. Mackey] [Eric Cartman]
And everyone should get
along..
Okay children quiet down, quiet down
Children I'd like to
introduce our new substitute teacher for the day
His name is Mr.
Shady
Children quiet down please
Brian don't throw that (SHUT UP!)
Mr.
Shady will be your new substitute
while Mr. Kaniff is out with pneumonia
(HE'S GOT AIDS!)
Good luck Mr. Shady
[Eminem]
Hi there
little boys and girls (FUCK YOU!)
Today we're gonna to learn how to poison
squirrels
But first, I'd like you to meet my friend Bob (Huh?)
Say hi Bob!
("Hi Bob") Bob's 30 and still lives with his mom
and he don't got a job,
cause Bob sits at home and smokes pot
but his twelve-year old brother looks
up to him an awful lot
And Bob likes to hang out at the local waffle
spot
and wait in the parkin lot for waitresses off the clock
when it's
late and the lot gets dark and fake like he walks his dog
Drag 'em in the
woods and go straight to the chopping blocks (AHH!)
And even if they escaped
and they got the cops
the ladies would all be so afraid, they would drop the
charge
'til one night Mrs. Stacey went off the job
when she felt someone
grab her whole face and said not to talk
But Stacey knew it was Bob and said
knock it off
But Bob wouldn't knock it off cause he's crazy and off his
rocker
Crazier than Slim Shady is off the vodka
You couldn't even take him
to Dre's to get Bob a "Dr."
He grabbed Stace' by the legs as chopped it off
her
and dropped her off in the lake for the cops to find her
But ever
since the day Stacey went off to wander
they never found her, and Bob still
hangs at the waffle diner
And that's the story of Bob and his marijuana,
and what it might do to you
So see if the squirrels want any - it's bad
for you
[Chorus: Mr. Mackey (Eminem)]
See children, drugs
are bahhhd (c'mon)
and if you don't believe me, ask ya dahhhd (ask him
man)
and if you don't believe him, ask ya mom (that's right)
She'll tell
you how she does 'em all the time (she will)
So kids say no to drugs (that's
right)
So you don't act like everyone else does (uh-huh)
Then there's
really nothin else to say (sing along)
Drugs are just bad,
mmm'kay?
[Eminem]
My penis is the size of a peanut, have you
seen it?
FUCK NO you ain't seen it, it's the size of a peanut
(Huh?)
Speakin of peanuts, you know what else is bad for
squirrels?
Ecstasy is the worst drug in the world
If someone ever offers
it to you, don't do it
Kids two hits'll probably drain all your spinal
fluid
and spinal fluid is final, you won't get it back
So don't get
attached, it'll attack every bone in your back
Meet Zach, twenty-one years
old
After hangin out with some friends at a frat party, he gets bold
and
decides to try five, when he's bribed by five guys
and peer pressure will win
every time you try to fight it
Suddenly, he starts to convulse and his pulse
goes into hyperdrive
and his eyes roll back in his skull {*blblblblblb*}
His back starts tah - look like the McDonald's Arches
He's on Donald's
carpet, layin horizontal barfin {*BLEH*}
And everyone in the apartment starts
laughin at him
"Hey Adam, Zach is a jackass, look at him!"
cause they took
it too, so they think it's funny
So they're laughing at basically nothing
except maybe wasting his money
Meanwhile, Zach's in a coma, the action is
over
and his back and his shoulders hunched up like he's practicin
yoga
And that's the story of Zach, the ecstasy maniac
So don't even feed
that to squirrels class, cause it's bad for you
[Chorus: Mr. Mackey
(Eminem)]
See children, drugs are bahhhd (that's right)
and if you
don't believe me, ask ya dahhhd (that's right)
and if you don't believe him,
ask ya mom (you can)
She'll tell you how she does 'em all the time (she
will)
So kids say no to drugs (smoke crack)
So you don't act like everyone
else does (that's right)
And there's really nothin else to say (but
umm)
Drugs are just bad, mmm'kay?
[Eminem]
And last but not
least, one of the most humungous
problems among young people today, is
fungus
It grows from cow manure, they pick it out, wipe it off,
bag it
up, and you put it right in your mouth and chew it
Yum yum! Then you start to
see some dumb stuff
And everything slows down when you eat some of
'em..
And sometimes you see things that aren't there (Like what?)
Like fat
woman in G-strings with orange hair
(Mr. Shady what's a G-string?) It's yarn
Claire
Women stick 'em up their behinds, go out and wear 'em (Huh?)
And if
you swallow too much of the magic mushrooms
Whoops, did I say magic
mushrooms? I meant fungus
Ya tongue gets, all swoll up like a cow's tongue
(How come?)
cause it comes from a cow's dung (Gross!!)
See drugs are bad,
it's a common fact
But your mom and dad, know that's all that I'm good at
(Oh!)
But don't be me, cause if you grow up and you go and O.D.
They're
gonna come for me and I'ma have to grow a goatee
and get a disguise and hide,
cause it'll be my fault
So don't do drugs, and do exactly as I don't,
cause I'm bad for you
[Chorus: Mr. Mackey (Eminem)]
See
children, drugs are bahhhd (uh-huh)
and if you don't believe me, ask ya
dahhhd (put that down)
and if you don't believe him, ask ya mom (you can
ask)
She'll tell you how she does 'em all the time (and she will)
So kids
say no to drugs (say no)
So you don't act like everyone else does (like I
do)
And there's really nothin else to say (that's right)
Drugs are just
bad, mmm'kay?
[Mr. Mackey] [Eric Cartman]
Come on
children, clap along (SHUT UP!)
Sing along children (Suck my motherfuckin
dick!)
Drugs are just bad, drugs are just bad (South Park is gonna sue
me!)
So don't do drugs (Suck my motherfuckin penis!)
so there'll be more
for me (Hippie! God damnit!)
(Mushrooms killed Kenny! *fart* Ewww,
ahhh!)
(So, fucked up, right now..)
And everyone should get
along..
Okay children quiet down, quiet down
Children I'd like to
introduce our new substitute teacher for the day
His name is Mr.
Shady
Children quiet down please
Brian don't throw that (SHUT UP!)
Mr.
Shady will be your new substitute
while Mr. Kaniff is out with pneumonia
(HE'S GOT AIDS!)
Good luck Mr. Shady
[Eminem]
Hi there
little boys and girls (FUCK YOU!)
Today we're gonna to learn how to poison
squirrels
But first, I'd like you to meet my friend Bob (Huh?)
Say hi Bob!
("Hi Bob") Bob's 30 and still lives with his mom
and he don't got a job,
cause Bob sits at home and smokes pot
but his twelve-year old brother looks
up to him an awful lot
And Bob likes to hang out at the local waffle
spot
and wait in the parkin lot for waitresses off the clock
when it's
late and the lot gets dark and fake like he walks his dog
Drag 'em in the
woods and go straight to the chopping blocks (AHH!)
And even if they escaped
and they got the cops
the ladies would all be so afraid, they would drop the
charge
'til one night Mrs. Stacey went off the job
when she felt someone
grab her whole face and said not to talk
But Stacey knew it was Bob and said
knock it off
But Bob wouldn't knock it off cause he's crazy and off his
rocker
Crazier than Slim Shady is off the vodka
You couldn't even take him
to Dre's to get Bob a "Dr."
He grabbed Stace' by the legs as chopped it off
her
and dropped her off in the lake for the cops to find her
But ever
since the day Stacey went off to wander
they never found her, and Bob still
hangs at the waffle diner
And that's the story of Bob and his marijuana,
and what it might do to you
So see if the squirrels want any - it's bad
for you
[Chorus: Mr. Mackey (Eminem)]
See children, drugs
are bahhhd (c'mon)
and if you don't believe me, ask ya dahhhd (ask him
man)
and if you don't believe him, ask ya mom (that's right)
She'll tell
you how she does 'em all the time (she will)
So kids say no to drugs (that's
right)
So you don't act like everyone else does (uh-huh)
Then there's
really nothin else to say (sing along)
Drugs are just bad,
mmm'kay?
[Eminem]
My penis is the size of a peanut, have you
seen it?
FUCK NO you ain't seen it, it's the size of a peanut
(Huh?)
Speakin of peanuts, you know what else is bad for
squirrels?
Ecstasy is the worst drug in the world
If someone ever offers
it to you, don't do it
Kids two hits'll probably drain all your spinal
fluid
and spinal fluid is final, you won't get it back
So don't get
attached, it'll attack every bone in your back
Meet Zach, twenty-one years
old
After hangin out with some friends at a frat party, he gets bold
and
decides to try five, when he's bribed by five guys
and peer pressure will win
every time you try to fight it
Suddenly, he starts to convulse and his pulse
goes into hyperdrive
and his eyes roll back in his skull {*blblblblblb*}
His back starts tah - look like the McDonald's Arches
He's on Donald's
carpet, layin horizontal barfin {*BLEH*}
And everyone in the apartment starts
laughin at him
"Hey Adam, Zach is a jackass, look at him!"
cause they took
it too, so they think it's funny
So they're laughing at basically nothing
except maybe wasting his money
Meanwhile, Zach's in a coma, the action is
over
and his back and his shoulders hunched up like he's practicin
yoga
And that's the story of Zach, the ecstasy maniac
So don't even feed
that to squirrels class, cause it's bad for you
[Chorus: Mr. Mackey
(Eminem)]
See children, drugs are bahhhd (that's right)
and if you
don't believe me, ask ya dahhhd (that's right)
and if you don't believe him,
ask ya mom (you can)
She'll tell you how she does 'em all the time (she
will)
So kids say no to drugs (smoke crack)
So you don't act like everyone
else does (that's right)
And there's really nothin else to say (but
umm)
Drugs are just bad, mmm'kay?
[Eminem]
And last but not
least, one of the most humungous
problems among young people today, is
fungus
It grows from cow manure, they pick it out, wipe it off,
bag it
up, and you put it right in your mouth and chew it
Yum yum! Then you start to
see some dumb stuff
And everything slows down when you eat some of
'em..
And sometimes you see things that aren't there (Like what?)
Like fat
woman in G-strings with orange hair
(Mr. Shady what's a G-string?) It's yarn
Claire
Women stick 'em up their behinds, go out and wear 'em (Huh?)
And if
you swallow too much of the magic mushrooms
Whoops, did I say magic
mushrooms? I meant fungus
Ya tongue gets, all swoll up like a cow's tongue
(How come?)
cause it comes from a cow's dung (Gross!!)
See drugs are bad,
it's a common fact
But your mom and dad, know that's all that I'm good at
(Oh!)
But don't be me, cause if you grow up and you go and O.D.
They're
gonna come for me and I'ma have to grow a goatee
and get a disguise and hide,
cause it'll be my fault
So don't do drugs, and do exactly as I don't,
cause I'm bad for you
[Chorus: Mr. Mackey (Eminem)]
See
children, drugs are bahhhd (uh-huh)
and if you don't believe me, ask ya
dahhhd (put that down)
and if you don't believe him, ask ya mom (you can
ask)
She'll tell you how she does 'em all the time (and she will)
So kids
say no to drugs (say no)
So you don't act like everyone else does (like I
do)
And there's really nothin else to say (that's right)
Drugs are just
bad, mmm'kay?
[Mr. Mackey] [Eric Cartman]
Come on
children, clap along (SHUT UP!)
Sing along children (Suck my motherfuckin
dick!)
Drugs are just bad, drugs are just bad (South Park is gonna sue
me!)
So don't do drugs (Suck my motherfuckin penis!)
so there'll be more
for me (Hippie! God damnit!)
(Mushrooms killed Kenny! *fart* Ewww,
ahhh!)
(So, fucked up, right now..)