THE REAL SLIM SHADY
[Eminem]
May I have your attention please?
May I have your
attention please?
Will the real Slim Shady please stand up?
I repeat, will
the real Slim Shady please stand up?
We're gonna have a problem
here..
Y'all act like you never seen a white person before
Jaws all on
the floor like Pam, like Tommy just burst in the door
and started whoopin her
ass worse than before
they first were divorce, throwin her over furniture
(Ahh!)
It's the return of the... "Ah, wait, no way, you're kidding,
he
didn't just say what I think he did, did he?"
And Dr. Dre said... nothing you
idiots!
Dr. Dre's dead, he's locked in my basement! (Ha-ha!)
Feminist
women love Eminem
[*vocal turntable: chigga chigga chigga*]
"Slim
Shady, I'm sick of him
Look at him, walkin around grabbin his
you-know-what
Flippin the you-know-who," "Yeah, but he's so cute
though!"
Yeah, I probably got a couple of screws up in my head loose
But
no worse, than what's goin on in your parents' bedrooms
Sometimes, I wanna
get on TV and just let loose, but can't
but it's cool for Tom Green to hump a
dead moose
"My bum is on your lips, my bum is on your lips"
And if I'm
lucky, you might just give it a little kiss
And that's the message that we
deliver to little kids
And expect them not to know what a woman's clitoris
is
Of course they gonna know what intercourse is
By the time they hit
fourth grade
They got the Discovery Channel don't they?
"We ain't nothing
but mammals.." Well, some of us cannibals
who cut other people open like
cantaloupes [SLURP]
But if we can hump dead animals and
antelopes
then there's no reason that a man and another man can't
elope
[*EWWW!*] But if you feel like I feel, I got the
antidote
Women wave your pantyhose, sing the chorus and it
goes
[Chorus: Eminem (repeat 2X)]
'Cause I'm Slim Shady,
yes I'm the real Shady
All you other Slim Shadys are just imitating
So
won't the real Slim Shady please stand up,
please stand up, please stand
up?
[Eminem]
Will Smith don't gotta cuss in his raps to sell
his records;
well I do, so fuck him and fuck you too!
You think I give a
damn about a Grammy?
Half of you critics can't even stomach me, let alone
stand me
"But Slim, what if you win, wouldn't it be weird?"
Why? So you
guys could just lie to get me here?
So you can, sit me here next to Britney
Spears?
Shit, Christina Aguilera better switch me chairs
so I can sit next
to Carson Daly and Fred Durst
and hear 'em argue over who she gave head to
first
You little bitch, put me on blast on MTV
"Yeah, he's cute, but I
think he's married to Kim, hee-hee!"
I should download her audio on
MP3
and show the whole world how you gave Eminem VD [AHHH!]
I'm sick of you little girl and boy groups, all you do is annoy me
so I have been
sent here to destroy you [bzzzt]
And there's a million of us just like
me
who cuss like me; who just don't give a fuck like me
who dress like me;
walk, talk and act like me
and just might be the next best thing but not
quite me!
[Chorus]
[Eminem]
I'm like a head trip
to listen to, cause I'm only givin you
things you joke about with your
friends inside your living room
The only difference is I got the balls to say
it
in front of y'all and I don't gotta be false or sugarcoated at all
I
just get on the mic and spit it
and whether you like to admit it
[*ERR*] I just shit it
better than ninety percent of you rappers out
can
Then you wonder how can kids eat up these albums like valiums
It's
funny; cause at the rate I'm goin when I'm thirty
I'll be the only person in
the nursin home flirting
Pinchin nurses asses when I'm jackin off with
Jergens
And I'm jerkin but this whole bag of Viagra isn't working
And
every single person is a Slim Shady lurkin
He could be workin at Burger King,
spittin on your onion rings
[*HACH*] Or in the parkin lot,
circling
Screaming "I don't give a fuck!"
with his windows down and his
system up
So, will the real Shady please stand up?
And put one of those
fingers on each hand up?
And be proud to be outta your mind and outta
control
and one more time, loud as you can, how does it go?
[Chorus
4X]
[Eminem]
Ha ha
Guess there's a Slim Shady in all of
us
Fuck it, let's all stand up
May I have your attention please?
May I have your
attention please?
Will the real Slim Shady please stand up?
I repeat, will
the real Slim Shady please stand up?
We're gonna have a problem
here..
Y'all act like you never seen a white person before
Jaws all on
the floor like Pam, like Tommy just burst in the door
and started whoopin her
ass worse than before
they first were divorce, throwin her over furniture
(Ahh!)
It's the return of the... "Ah, wait, no way, you're kidding,
he
didn't just say what I think he did, did he?"
And Dr. Dre said... nothing you
idiots!
Dr. Dre's dead, he's locked in my basement! (Ha-ha!)
Feminist
women love Eminem
[*vocal turntable: chigga chigga chigga*]
"Slim
Shady, I'm sick of him
Look at him, walkin around grabbin his
you-know-what
Flippin the you-know-who," "Yeah, but he's so cute
though!"
Yeah, I probably got a couple of screws up in my head loose
But
no worse, than what's goin on in your parents' bedrooms
Sometimes, I wanna
get on TV and just let loose, but can't
but it's cool for Tom Green to hump a
dead moose
"My bum is on your lips, my bum is on your lips"
And if I'm
lucky, you might just give it a little kiss
And that's the message that we
deliver to little kids
And expect them not to know what a woman's clitoris
is
Of course they gonna know what intercourse is
By the time they hit
fourth grade
They got the Discovery Channel don't they?
"We ain't nothing
but mammals.." Well, some of us cannibals
who cut other people open like
cantaloupes [SLURP]
But if we can hump dead animals and
antelopes
then there's no reason that a man and another man can't
elope
[*EWWW!*] But if you feel like I feel, I got the
antidote
Women wave your pantyhose, sing the chorus and it
goes
[Chorus: Eminem (repeat 2X)]
'Cause I'm Slim Shady,
yes I'm the real Shady
All you other Slim Shadys are just imitating
So
won't the real Slim Shady please stand up,
please stand up, please stand
up?
[Eminem]
Will Smith don't gotta cuss in his raps to sell
his records;
well I do, so fuck him and fuck you too!
You think I give a
damn about a Grammy?
Half of you critics can't even stomach me, let alone
stand me
"But Slim, what if you win, wouldn't it be weird?"
Why? So you
guys could just lie to get me here?
So you can, sit me here next to Britney
Spears?
Shit, Christina Aguilera better switch me chairs
so I can sit next
to Carson Daly and Fred Durst
and hear 'em argue over who she gave head to
first
You little bitch, put me on blast on MTV
"Yeah, he's cute, but I
think he's married to Kim, hee-hee!"
I should download her audio on
MP3
and show the whole world how you gave Eminem VD [AHHH!]
I'm sick of you little girl and boy groups, all you do is annoy me
so I have been
sent here to destroy you [bzzzt]
And there's a million of us just like
me
who cuss like me; who just don't give a fuck like me
who dress like me;
walk, talk and act like me
and just might be the next best thing but not
quite me!
[Chorus]
[Eminem]
I'm like a head trip
to listen to, cause I'm only givin you
things you joke about with your
friends inside your living room
The only difference is I got the balls to say
it
in front of y'all and I don't gotta be false or sugarcoated at all
I
just get on the mic and spit it
and whether you like to admit it
[*ERR*] I just shit it
better than ninety percent of you rappers out
can
Then you wonder how can kids eat up these albums like valiums
It's
funny; cause at the rate I'm goin when I'm thirty
I'll be the only person in
the nursin home flirting
Pinchin nurses asses when I'm jackin off with
Jergens
And I'm jerkin but this whole bag of Viagra isn't working
And
every single person is a Slim Shady lurkin
He could be workin at Burger King,
spittin on your onion rings
[*HACH*] Or in the parkin lot,
circling
Screaming "I don't give a fuck!"
with his windows down and his
system up
So, will the real Shady please stand up?
And put one of those
fingers on each hand up?
And be proud to be outta your mind and outta
control
and one more time, loud as you can, how does it go?
[Chorus
4X]
[Eminem]
Ha ha
Guess there's a Slim Shady in all of
us
Fuck it, let's all stand up